9 Great Excuses for Missing Work

There are tons of valid excuses for missing work. But it’s not foolproof…there are also tons of reasons that are totally not valid, and will likely earn you a trip to the professional dog house.

1. Valid excuse: You’re sick.

Invalid excuse: You’re sick with a fever whose only cure is more cowbell.

2. Valid excuse: There’s been a death in your family.

Invalid excuse: There’s been a death on your favorite TV show.

3. Valid excuse: You’re having a personal emergency.

Invalid excuse: You’re having a fashion emergency.

4. Valid excuse: You fell and injured yourself.

Invalid excuse: …Running for the ice cream truck. (Just leave that part out.)

5. Valid excuse: You’re celebrating a religious holiday.

Invalid excuse: Your “religious holiday” is corroborated only by a weirdly sparse Wiki page that was updated last by someone with your usual screen name.

6. Valid excuse: You’re having a childcare crunch.

Invalid excuse: You’re having drama because you’re out of Cap’n Crunch.

7. Valid excuse: You’re getting married.

Invalid excuse: A royal is marrying that beautiful commoner who totally could have been you if only you’d been able to afford that spring break in Luxembourg.

8. Valid excuse: The weather is bad, and so are the roads you’d be commuting on.

Invalid excuse: Your psychic told you it might snow this afternoon. (And it’s June.)

9. Valid excuse: You need a mental health day.

Invalid excuse: Your pet needs you at home while he works through some personal issues.