How to Quit Your Job the Smart Way

There comes a time in every worker’s life when he/she needs to quit a job. Maybe it’s for personal reasons, maybe the best job ever has just become available, or maybe the work environment is toxic and unfair and you just HAVE TO GO. No matter what the reason, it’s always best to leave with dignity and integrity. So put that middle finger away, hold on to your f-bombs, and make sure you read this list on how to quit your job first.

DON’T ever do this when quitting your job.

Do it in public

Even in an open plan office, it’s important to schedule a one-on-one with your supervisor somewhere private enough to have a discussion without an audience or without putting your boss in an uncomfortable position. Keep it confidential.

Be afraid

Nobody is going to be “mad at you.” And if they are, then that’s more a reflection on the company or the culture and, well, good riddance. You have to look out for your own professional growth. Leaving one job for another doesn’t have to be an insult.

Negotiate

Unless this was your strategy all along and you go in prepared to stay. If you’ve already accepted another offer, or you are truly miserable where you are, don’t even humor the counter offer. Even if the money is too good to be true. It probably is. Remember why you were leaving in the first place.

Be vulgar

No expletives. No curses. No middle fingers. No door slamming. No desk-slapping. You get the idea. Stay calm and class it up.

Ghost

Just never showing up to work again is not the way to go. You’ll look like a lunatic, or worse. Make sure to actually have the conversation and follow the appropriate protocol.

Backstab

Not about your evil boss or your arch nemesis, or the colleague who tormented you. Now is not the time. Save it for a ranting session over happy hour with your out-of-work friends.

Treat it like Senior Spring

So you’ve given your notice. Great. Don’t stop working. You’ll obviously have a little less to do as your projects taper off in your transition, but don’t just sit there painting your nails or playing on Facebook until your final day. Stay respectful; be respected.

DO

Give notice

This is by far the most important. Give sufficient notice so you won’t leave anyone hanging or any colleagues under undue stress. Even if you hate them!

Bring treats

Why not bring something as a parting gift to your co-workers on your last day? Think a plate of cookies or brownies or order a pizza for the break room, just to show your appreciation for the people you have worked with and learned from in your time there. It’s probably a good gesture even if you don’t respect a single one of them.

Give back your stuff

Give back your company laptop and phone and security passes. Yes, even your company iPad. If you’ve really gotten close with your stapler… well, we’ll look the other way.

Be honest

With your boss and in your exit interview. Who knows, something constructive could come out of it, for one or both of you.

Consider the counter offer

But, as above, only if you are prepared to stay and wouldn’t be totally miserable. You’re allowed to take a day to think it over.

Do it in person

Not over the phone. Not over email. NOT OVER TEXT. You owe your boss, even an awful one, this courtesy. If you stick to these parameters, you can leave your job without humiliating yourself or anyone else, and with preserving your integrity and respect-worthiness. You never know when you’ll run into these people again. Keep ‘em sweet on your way out the door!